Addicted (Sin City Gym Book 2) Page 4

  “Are you serious right now? I listened to you whimper and cry out all night. I heard the words you mumbled in your sleep. I know there is something bigger going on here. You have dedicated your whole life to helping others. Let me help you. Let someone help you for a change.”

  “No. I can’t. You wouldn’t understand.” I looked up at the clock on the stove cursing. “I have to get to work. I have a patient.” I made to move away from him hoping that he would take his cue to exit, but his arm snaked out around my waist.

  “No hiding, tell me what’s wrong, maybe I can help.” He was so close; I could smell the subtle sandalwood on his skin. It was intoxicating. So much so, that he nearly had me telling him all my secrets. I could feel him pressed up against me and a haze of lust clouded my normally sensible brain.

  Thank God my alarm went off, and I was able to take a step back from him. “I-I can’t. I have to go.” This time he didn’t push but I could see the anguish in his eyes as I closed the door to my bedroom locking myself in. Minutes later I was still leaning against the door as I heard the front door slam as he exited the house. Blowing out a relieved breath, I slumped against the door. Shit, that was close.

  Chapter Eleven

  Pete

  I slammed out of Brandy’s apartment and the second I did I regretted it. I should have stayed and made her talk to me. Everything in me wanted to push her up against the wall and force her to tell me, but I couldn’t do that. Something wasn’t right. I didn’t know what to do. I could only think of one person who could give me advice. Not even caring that I was still wearing the same clothes that I’d been wearing the night before. I knew how it looked, but Dad wouldn’t care.

  He’d seen me in a much worse state than that. The accident that I tried my best not to think about was one of those times. Even just the errant thought had my breath hitching and I could almost hear the screeching metal and smell the gasoline in the air. Breathe Pete.

  I made my way to my parents’ house. They’d retired a few years before and the old man spent most of his time in the shed building things. He was on a car engine kick at the moment so instead, I found him in the garage tinkering with engine parts.

  “Hey, Pops,” I said as I walked up the driveway.

  “Pete, you look like hell. What’s on your mind?” he chuckled.

  “Thanks, Dad.” I rolled my eyes at the comment. “I’m so glad I could amuse you.”

  “Oh, come on. You know you came over here for a reason. Now, out with it.”

  “Well, do you remember the fake relationship over Christmas?” I asked. Pops nodded for me to continue. “There’s something serious going on with her and I can’t get her to tell me what happened to her.”

  “Well, what would make you think she would tell you anything. You said it was a fake relationship that ended pretty quickly, she doesn’t owe you anything.” I hated when he did this. Played devil’s advocate. I glared at him, but he just shook his head. “I know it was real to you, son, but it sounds like she has some walls up. What have you done to try to break them down?”

  “I don’t know. We play a game asking questions, but she hasn’t given me many opportunities to really try.” I scrubbed a hand over my face sitting in one of the stools he had sitting by the work table.

  “That’s about the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard.” Pops glared at me. “Is she worth a bit of extra work?”

  “She’s everything.” The words slipped out without a thought and for the first time, I just knew that she was. I would do anything for her even if she asked me to leave her alone.

  “Then act like it,” he said it as if it was the most simple thing in the world. “Have you told her about…”

  “Don’t.” I couldn’t think about that now. “No, this isn’t about me. There is something going on. She’s scared. I listened to her cry out and whimper in her sleep last night. It’s bad whatever it is and how can I protect her if she won’t tell me about it?”

  “You can’t, but if you attempt to force it out of her you could ruin any chance you might have with her. Are you prepared to do that?”

  He was right, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to know what was going on. I felt it down to my bones that she was in some kind of danger. “No, but I’m not entirely sure that I have a shot with her.”

  “I thought you were a fighter.” He shook his head sadly. “I never thought I’d see you give up before you’d fought. It was the reason we’d put you in martial arts when you were young. You never gave up when it was something you wanted. You pushed your poor mother to the brink of insanity before she finally caved and now look at you.”

  He was right. How could I have been so stupid? I never should have let her go in the first place. Now I was determined to get her back no matter the cost. I would fight and I would win. Nothing was going to stop me from keeping her safe.

  Chapter Twelve

  Brandy

  The next couple of days I avoided everyone who might ask about what happened. Delia had been calling nonstop and I knew eventually she was going to send out a search party, but I just didn’t care. I needed to stay away because they were getting too close. Pete said he heard me crying in my sleep.

  Several times I thought about calling and asking him what he’d heard, but I didn’t want to open myself up to all the questions that would inevitably follow.

  The doorbell ringing startled me and I moved slowly toward it wondering if my time was up and one of my friends had finally caught me hiding from them. Looking out the peephole, all I saw was a huge bouquet of the most beautiful blue flowers I’d ever seen. Opening the door, the man looked relieved as he handed me the digital signature pad to sign and then handed me the huge bouquet.

  “Thank you.” I smiled at the man before closing the door and smelling the flowers. They were gorgeous. I put the beautiful crystal vase on the counter and looked for the card. I’d recognize Pete’s scrawl anywhere. A happy sigh left my lips when I realized the color of the flowers held a significance that I hadn’t forgotten about. They matched my eyes and the gorgeous sapphire earrings that sat unworn in my jewelry box. I’d meant to leave them at his house after the Christmas party but I ran out of there so fast that I forgot I’d been wearing them.

  Sorry about the other day. Forgive me?

  Pete 555-7348

  P.S. My number hasn’t changed maybe you should use it some time. ;)

  Grabbing my phone I went through the motions of unblocking his phone number. I’d done it to get a clean break. The things he’d said that night had gutted me and I couldn’t take that again. Little did I know that a clean break would never be possible with him. I should have known that no one would let it be that easy.

  The pile of mail on the counter next to the vase caught my attention and I decided that it would be a good distraction from my wayward thoughts. Flipping through the mail a plain white envelope caught my eye. My name and address was on it but nothing else. No return address at all. My brain screamed at me not to do it, but my damn curiosity got the better of me. I regretted it the second I pulled the old newspaper clipping out of the envelope. I didn’t have to unfold it to know what it was. Our little town in Tennessee had been on the world news after that. Headlines were cruel especially when your own mother had locked you in a closet for pretty much your whole life.

  I stood stock still numb as the envelope fell from my fingers. A small note that I hadn’t seen fell out of it.

  Dread filled me as I bent to pick the paper up. My whole body shook as I unfolded the small piece of paper.

  Do you think he’ll want you when I expose you for who you are?

  This had to be some kind of sick joke. Was it my mother taunting me or one of the reporters that had been digging into my past? Were they going to tell everyone that the sex therapist Pete Collins had dated all those months ago was actually the girl in the closet? That was the unoriginal name they’d come up with. Now, looking back I figured they should have at least co
me up with something clever. I mean they wrote for a living they should at least be somewhat creative.

  I’d changed my name in an effort to get away from all the scrutiny. Dad had allowed it. He knew how hard it was when people knew the darkest parts of you. My humiliation had been plastered all over the TV and newspapers for the entire world to see and I didn’t want any part of it.

  My phone went off with a text alert causing me to practically jump out of my skin.

  Delia: If you don’t answer your phone I’m coming over and dragging you out of the apartment by your hair.

  Shit. Dee meant business. I wondered if I should just tell her. She was my best friend maybe she wouldn’t judge me like I thought.

  Me: Come over… I need to tell you something.

  Delia: On my way!

  I wondered if I was making a huge mistake. I paced the room the entire time I waited for Delia to get there. It felt like hours when it was probably only a matter of minutes. I was twitchy and jumpy when she finally knocked on the door. She usually just walked right in but since all the madness started I’d been keeping it locked.

  “What gives?” She eyed me as I answered the door.

  “I just started keeping it locked.” I shrugged like it was no big deal.

  “What’s going on with you?” Instead of answering with words I handed her both slips of paper. Her brows scrunched down in confusion as she looked at the newspaper clipping. I waited somewhat impatiently and when she got to the note she gasped in shock. “That was you? But, didn’t she?” Her eyes widened as everything clicked together. It would have been funny if I hadn’t been freaking out waiting for her disgusted reaction. “Oh my God, you poor thing. It all makes so much sense now.”

  “What?” I asked as she enveloped me in a hug. She had tears in her eyes as she pulled me close. She didn’t look at me disgusted by the things that had happened. She didn’t say anything as she cried… for me.

  “I remember hearing about that. I was just out of high school and as fucked up as my own mother had been, I kept thinking that at least I hadn’t been locked in a closet. Shit. I’m sorry. That was insensitive of me.”

  “No, it’s okay. I know I had it bad, but honestly, it was all I ever knew until my dad found me,” I shrugged.

  “Where did this come from?” She looked over the note one more time.

  “I honestly don’t know. She got out on parole a year ago and my dad has been keeping an eye on her. He called me a few days ago to let me know that she’d skipped out on her parole and no one could find her.”

  “That was why you were upset that day.” She shook her head sadly. “I thought it was Pete’s fault but really you were upset about your mom?”

  I cringed at the word. She wasn’t my mom not really. She was my mother but I had learned the hard way that a mom was someone who loved you and protected you not your own personal tormentor. “Yeah, I have an idea what set her off but it’s still scary. I don’t know where her head space is at.”

  “What do you think set her off?” she asked innocently. I didn’t really want to answer that question. The details of what she’d done to me had been kept out of the media. It was sick and twisted and had shaped my views on certain things. I never wanted to talk about it. But I knew if I was ever going to truly move on, I would have to. Just not now and not to Delia.

  “I think she might have seen me on TV.” I left it at that. It seemed it was enough to keep her happy, so I didn’t elaborate.

  “That makes sense. Did you tell Pete?”

  “God, no,” I nearly yelled. “Why would I do that?”

  “Oh, I thought he was over here the other night after I left.” She moved away from me and curled her feet up underneath her on the couch. I decided wine was needed before this conversation could go any further and made my way to the kitchen. I poured two glasses and came back sitting next to Delia on the couch.

  “He wanted me to. He pushed really hard, but I wouldn’t tell him. I couldn’t. What if he was disgusted by me after that? I can’t take that look from him. It would flay me alive.”

  “Disgusted? Why? You were a victim. That’s no reason for anyone to be disgusted. If he looks at you like that, I’ll cut his fucking balls off.” I made the same threat about her fiancé Kyle when they first got together and poor Delia seemed scandalized when I said it. Hearing her say that had me chuckling softly.

  “I just can’t,” I sobered. Delia looked around for the first time and grinned.

  “Who are the flowers from?” Thank God for small favors. She saw enough of my pain that she realized a subject change was in order.

  “Pete,” I blushed. I couldn’t help it. I had no idea what kind of flowers they were, but they may just be my new favorite.

  “Maybe I won’t cut his balls off then,” she laughed. “That was sweet of him. Are you guys gonna work things out?”

  “Delia it wasn’t real,” I huffed out an aggravated breath.

  “You sure fooled me, and it looks like you fooled him too.” She looked pointedly at the flowers.

  “We’re too different.” I took a sip of my wine. Maybe if I said it out loud enough, I might actually believe it.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Pete

  Darren never picked the kind of place I expected. We were sitting inside a bar that looked like something out of an old western movie. Delia had completely manipulated the situation so Brandy was sitting between me and her, and she kept using leading questions to start a conversation, but it wasn’t working. She wouldn’t even look at me. Even after I sent her the flowers there was this awkward tension between the two of us left over from the other night when I held her while she slept. I wondered if she was worried about what happened at her apartment. I still wanted to know what had her so scared but I decided not to push her anymore. She would tell me when she was ready. “Twenty questions?”

  “You only have nine left.” A ghost of a smile crossed her lips as she looked at me for the first time.

  “It’s time to dance. C’mon boys,” Delia announced and everyone left the table.

  “You know why we’re here, right?” I eyed her.

  “Is that one of your questions?” Her lips curled up even higher.

  “Most definitely not. I gotta keep a hold on as many as I can.” I bumped her shoulder with my own.

  “Yes, I didn’t have the heart to tell them they’re wasting their time.”

  “Why are they wasting their time?” I asked. “You can count that as one of my questions,” I spoke before she had a chance to ask.

  “Because you and I are too different. You proved that at Christmas. We aren’t good for each other.”

  “Says who?” I growled. It was just like before. She kept making decisions affecting both of us without even asking me what I thought. “I don’t exactly agree with that. I think you’re scared. I think that you really felt something for the first time in your life and that scared the hell out of you.”

  “You have no idea what you’re talking about.” She wouldn’t meet my eyes.

  “No?” I slid my index finger down her arm and watched as goosebumps raised.

  “No,” her reply was breathy. I couldn’t help but smirk. I brought my hand up cupping her cheek and turning her face to mine. My lips brushed lightly over hers, and she gasped lightly at the tingling warmth there. It hadn’t changed in the last three months. My hand snaked back behind her neck and I pulled her to me. A startled yelp left her lips and it gave me all the permission I needed to deepen the kiss. I’d missed it. Missed her so much. Her lips were soft and plump she tasted like sweet innocence and the deepest sin. It was a contradiction just like her. It was over too fast and I rested my forehead against hers.

  “I don’t care how innocent you are. It’s actually what drew me in,” I whispered my hot breath fanning her lips. Staring into her eyes, I saw it the minute she gave in. Her lips crashed back down on mine causing a groan to tear through me. My hands wrapped around her all on the
ir own pulling her closer to me. She wasn’t close enough. My body was primed ready to go and all I wanted was her. It took a minute of making out with my girl to realize I was being a dick and broke the kiss. She looked confused, so I smiled and sat her back in her seat with my arm around her. I didn’t want to scare her. “We need to go slow.”

  “What if I don’t want to go slow anymore?” she asked defiantly. I didn’t exactly know what the change was, but I thought it may have had something to do with whatever was plaguing her. I wouldn’t let her use me, use what we had together to fix whatever was bothering her.

  “Well, that’s too bad. I’m not doing this with you on a whim.” I squeezed her hip.

  “Why?” She looked truly baffled and even that look of astonishment made her look fucking incredible.

  “We messed this up before and I don’t want to mess it up again.” She huffed out an aggravated breath at my words and I chuckled. It was such a complete one-eighty that my head was still spinning.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Brandy

  The whole thing was ridiculous. Why had I let him pull me in for that kiss and then deny me what it was so obvious that I wanted? “I have a question.”

  “Is it one of your questions?” He grinned like the Cheshire Cat.

  “Sure,” I said offhanded. I was still trying to get my body back under control. I was not that girl. He raised an eyebrow expectantly and I took a big deep breath. “If it was real, why didn’t you come after me?” I held my breath waiting for his answer. I hadn’t realized how important that question was until I sat there waiting for him to answer.

  “It was the most real thing I’ve experienced in a long time. I don’t know why I didn’t immediately go after you. I was pissed at myself for the way things ended between us. I tried calling you the next day but you’d already blocked me. I didn’t want to look like a creeper, so I left you alone hoping that I would see you around, but you stayed far away.” His eyes were far away and I could tell he was sad. I never realized that what happened and my subsequent reaction to it had hurt him. Once again, I was a judgy bitch thinking he just went back to his manwhore ways.